Keep Climbing

The atmosphere is thin. I can barely breathe. Keep Climbing.

I'm drowning in waters too deep. I wasn't made for this. Keep Climbing.

The love was not reciprocated. The rejection is too much to bare. Keep Climbing.

My heart aches from the pain of loving unconditionally and being played. Keep Climbing.

The prophet told me to sow $150 for my blessing, but I lost my job less than a week later as well as a 2-year relationship. Keep Climbing.

The prophecy failed. How could God not move on my behalf? Keep Climbing.

There is chaos all around us, violence, drug abuse, overdose, and foul acts. Keep Climbing.

I was born here. I'll die here. Keep Climbing.

If someone brings me more bs, I'm going to blow this b* up. Keep Climbing.

I'm losing my mind, what the hell is happening to me? Keep Climbing.

This doesn't make any sense. Keep Climbing.

We were supposed to last forever. I gave up everything. Keep Climbing.

The business failed. I lost everything and now the debt is piling up. Keep Climbing.

I want to be a CEO of a Fortune 10 company. Keep Climbing.

How can I be diagnosed with cancer? I eat healthy, workout, don't smoke and rarely drink. Keep Climbing.

 

I deserve better. This is not it! I can do more. I can do better. Keep Climbing.

After 15 years, they fired me and told me that I was being replaced by a recent grad. Keep Climbing.

I'm faithful. I'll never leave you nor intentionally hurt you. Keep Climbing.

I believed God for a godly spouse yet continue to attract opportunists lacking character. Keep Climbing.

I have not yet been aligned with my purpose. What is my purpose? Keep Climbing.

Does life get easier? Will I gain wisdom? Keep Climbing.

I was abused and molested as a child. The trauma still haunts me and makes it hard to trust others. Keep Climbing.

I was only 15 years old. I didn't give consent. I didn't want to, but he took it anyways, got me pregnant, gave me HIV then left me. Keep Climbing.

If I pay my tithes and offerings as well as surrender my will, life will be easier. Keep Climbing.

If I killed myself, would you forgive me? Keep Climbing.

If I pull the trigger, I'll no longer suffer (click, click). The safety is on. Keep Climbing.

No one is ever there for me when I really need a shoulder to cry on or ear to listen. Keep Climbing. 

I'm afraid of what lies ahead. Keep Climbing. 

My baby died in my arms. How could a God who cares allow this to happen to us? Keep Climbing.

I tried to raise my kids correctly but they each ended up in jail or dead. Keep Climbing.

I wanted grandchildren, but my child chose an alternative lifestyle. Keep Climbing.

I received a word from God, but it's taking a while to manifest. Keep Climbing.

I had big dreams, big goals but they burned to the ground after the accident. Keep Climbing.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Keep Climbing.

I didn't choose this life. This life chose me. Keep Climbing.

The higher you climb, the atmosphere changes. Life may become difficult, but usually it's to remake you, reshape you, strengthen and prepare you. You may feel as though the challenges are breaking you to destroy you, but too often the crushing is necessary to refine you - to bring forth a "new you" - the one you couldn't even imagine existed. You won't always see your way through the crushing, so faith is necessary. Believing that you will overcome the current circumstances like so many others before you is essential. You are usually not the first to experience it - maybe in your social circle or family - but others have fought and stood through it, not always knowing if they would survive it. 

The crushing point, that resembles death and/or your life completely falling apart is not the end. There is greater ahead even when it gets steep, scary and unbelievable, so keep climbing.

Transparency: The last five months have been ultimate hell for me relationally and professionally, yet I've been taking one day at a time and changing my perspective on life and ideologies. Three weeks ago, I was introduced to the climax - withheld information. As one who prefers and practically demands open and blunt communication, I was devastated, humiliated and cut to the core. I felt double-crossed by someone I considered a friend and could not understand the "why." To this day, I don't understand as the reason was never communicated nor the action acknowledged. I forgave the person and attempted to move on with life.

How could something like this happen to me? I've been transparent. I gave room for open communication, didn't force anything and asked questions. Could it be karma? No, I never put that out into the atmosphere for it to come back to me.  Could it be the individual's inability to communicate or confront issues? Maybe. Could it have been out of desperation, fear, anger, or disagreement? Sure, but who am I to judge? Could this person have figured out what they really wanted? Absolutely. There is a possibility that this had nothing to do with me though it personally affected me when I was provided the information and witnessed the validity of it. 

This is definitely one of the hardest seasons of my life. Waking up is hard as I contemplate suicide no less than 4 times every day. Nothing is certain during this period of my life, and it's terrifying. I don't know what the next 3-12 months of my life will look like, but hopefully I'll be living in my purpose for a change unbothered by the bs that life throws my way. I'll keep climbing, and if I have to take a few L's along the way, it will be worth it to rid myself of anything that isn't for me and/or may be toxic for my journey.