Suicide Knocks... Don't Open the Door

Greetings Beautiful,

I simply wanted to remind you that you are loved. It’s not just your body that is appealing but your mind and personality. You see beauty runs deep, so deep that it is vital to acknowledge what is hidden far beneath. Your soul… your beautiful soul that cares for others and places your sister, brother, father, and mother’s needs before your own. Selfless, not selfish, aiming to help your friends and lend a listening ear when they need to vent. Offering up advice with wisdom beyond your years. Yet, you’re fighting through the night and holding back tears that eventually win and flood your face like a mighty storm releasing rain.

Helpless you feel as no one knows your pain. Suicide you contemplate over and over again. Silent you remain, because you understand how much it will hurt the ones you love if you departed the earth by your own hands in your own blood. Suicide. Breathe beautiful. Anxious? It’s ok. Breathe… I’ve been there. I know what you’re experiencing, and I understand how it hurts… how it torments… how you suffer…

Even as a believer in the Almighty God, I wonder will the battle ever end. Prayed and fasted yet have seen few results on my end in this particular matter. I’ve questioned my own faith. I’ve questioned my God. Is it really supposed to be this hard? Healing. I believed; I believe in healing. But it’s difficult to walk in something that you’re not feeling.

You continue to walk. You build your faith. You profess the Word. Does it shake, disappear, evaporate? Not immediately. The torment resumes, and you fall short. Slip, slip, slip away. Worry, fear, anxiety, and depression overtake you once again. Medicine cannot ease the pain nor cease the thoughts. Every negative outcome somehow becomes your fault internally. Suicide knocks. Don’t open the door. Breathe… Breathe…

Hold on. Just breathe. It gets better. You become stronger. Trust me. I may not be entirely healed nor free, but the traumas and drama that I’ve endured do not own me. Yes, I’ve experienced them and despised every part. They tore me to pieces, broke my spirit, and damaged my heart. It was hard; it’s still difficult but not as much. Suicide knocked. Suicide knocks. I refuse to open the door, because when we think about giving up, there is typically a miracle and/or blessing within our reach or touch. Hold on just a little while longer. Hold on; there’s more.

Suicide knocks. Don’t open the door. There’s greater ahead for you. Countless blessings, lessons, love, strength, healing, wealth, greater, more. I simply want to remind you that you are loved. It’s not just your body that is appealing but your mind and personality. You see beauty runs deep, so deep that it is vital to acknowledge what is hidden far beneath. Inside of you is greatness, creativity, beauty, healing, deliverance, and love. You are needed and cherished in this world. You may not see it now as anxiety, fear, worry, and depression overtake you. But hold on. Stand strong; I’ll believe for you and you believe for me. Just promise me this: When suicide knocks, don’t open the door.