My Bleeding Heart

 

My bleeding heart longs for a saviour

In the earthly realm that could hold me close and console me

That could love me unconditionally 

Like Christ loves the church, specifically "us"

Someone who could lead and stand before me

Who isn't afraid to fight for me

These battles I encounter that leave bruises, scars, and resurfaced wounds 

And sometimes psychological trauma that is hard to rid

Battle after battle, victorious yet scarred and wounded

How could a God that loves me so much allow so much to inflict injuries on his own daughter?

Because He allowed it to happen to His only begotten Son, the one who died on the cross for our sins though He himself had no sin according to the Word then rose again to be seated at the right hand of God.

How can one begin to comprehend such logic, such history as truth?

By seeking, researching, studying, knowing, and believing.

In the midnight hours when I cry myself to sleep, thoughts enter to overdose for release

Or to expose my veins so I won't have to explain that I've been carrying a lot of weight and pain

As I've encountered various individuals with disturbing agendas hidden by friendly facades

The hope that I had soon fell into the rushing waves and drowned and there I stood again reflecting on the banks of wasted time

Mentally and emotionally disturbed by those encounters allowed fear to come upon me, wrecking my safe space

Protector, I want a protector in the earthly realm to guard and take care of me

To keep an eye on me and truly fight for me

With a love and loyalty so strong that no man nor spirit can separate

That will be my knight in shining armor, my earthly king, my lover and best friend 

A man that isn't afraid to fight for me when I can no longer fight for myself 

But sees it as an honor and takes responsibility for me because he truly loves me

And isn't solely seeking sexual pleasure but understands it comes with commitment 

 

My bleeding heart longs for a saviour

In the earthly realm that could hold me close and console me

A man who isn't afraid to fight, especially when he's fighting for me

Who knows how to use his words, his power and authority

Whose humble enough to bow before the Lord thy God

Who hears me when I'm silent and can no longer speak

Who sees me when I attempt to hide what's bothering and weighing on me

Who will wipe the tears that drown my face

Who will love me unconditionally and ensure that I'm safe

Who will be my loyal bestfriend and partner until our end on this Earth

Who will see me for me, as well as my value and worth