Dear Husband: Part 2

Dear Husband,


I am terrified of what lies ahead
There are numerous men that desire to have me in their bed
The countless replies to the last thread
Left me speechless, wondering, pacing, with a bit of worry inside of my head
It hurts to date without a cause
Not knowing where we'll end up
Or better yet, what I'll do next
Scorpio blood flows through my veins
The loving, loyal, passionate, imaginative, jealous part of me
I cannot risk heartache nor bad dates
Wasting my time, energy, spirit, and mind
Am I wrong for wanting you and you alone?
Am I simply asking God for too much?
For my own husband to love, hold, lead, strengthen, and pray for me?
Am I supposed to spend the rest of my life dating Mr.Wrong until I meet you, my Mr.Right?
The testimonies that I've heard, Lord help me Jesus
I cannot wait until I'm 40, 50, nor 60 to wed the man I've been waiting for.
I've held out for you, got my life together for you, moved to Atlanta as God led me here, but I was hoping just hoping that I would meet you too
Husband, I repent for what I am bound to do
I repent for loving more and more and not holding on to the illusion of you
I've waited; yet lived
I've loved and forgave
I've eliminated majority of the debt in my life for not only me but also for you
So that it would not be a burden nor worry on you
Husband, I repent for the lips that I will soon kiss because I desire to be loved by you
Yet I can't see, hear, nor touch you
I repent for the hands that will caress my thighs and squeeze my cheeks because you weren't around when I needed you
I repent for not being able to speak to you and tell you my secrets while you embrace my flaws
Honey, I simply wanted you and you alone
Yet if I continue to hold on, it will kill me in the next year to not meet you and see that I was once again wrong
While trusting and holding on to the promises that men and women of God continually prophesied to me over the years
5 long years and I'm still single, pushing guys away with money, careers, and status
Because they aren't you
Husband, I need you
Please, Please Pray...
Let the Holy Spirit lead you...
Seek me out, find me...
I need you...